…to the lungs

Here I am again, I haven’t been on in a while. Seems I come here when my stress and anxiety are at a high.

Rocco has been doing VERY well. Eating, playing, loving life again…

Until recently we discovered another lump, but this time near his ribs. He’s also been coughing lately too, which I know to be a sign that it has metastasised in his lungs. 🙁

I’m really trying my hardest to hold it together, for him, for my son, for my family, but when I come to the office and I am away from it all, it hits me the hardest and I end up crying here with my door locked.

I can see it in his eyes when I get sad about it he follows suit, so I really do try to keep it positive at home.

It hurts so bad to know that even though he is the one in pain and the end is nearing, he is still trying to make sure that I am ok.

He woke me up at 2am last night to let him out to relieve himself, he did so quickly and came running back in, followed me back to bed and stood beside me, nudging my hand to stay on him. I pet him and told him I loved him and he fell on my lap.

My heart.

7 thoughts on “…to the lungs”

  1. I am so sorry to hear that the cancer has spread. He is a beautiful boy. My girl had lung mets almost 8 months before I had to let her go.
    He will let you know when it is time.

  2. What a beautiful post and a beautiful boy. I very recently lost my bi-pawd soulmate and so I can tell you I know exactly what you are going through in these days. And I know how it hurts and your hearts shatters with every breath but if you can, try and embrace these days. Embrace every moment, they are precious, glorious thing, and they have an honesty and a richness to them that can never be underestimated. Your boy is with you today and today is all the matters..much love from Joanna xoxox

  3. Sending you many hugs! Good job staying present in the moment. Love that beautiful boy and relish each day. Tomorrow will come someday but for now live each today fully! This is a hard journey to be sure. Follow your boys lead…..today is all that he’s about….every today. Sending love to you both!

  4. Has Rocco seen his vet? I tried to look at past post but couldn’t tell. Bailey has a lump on her rib and it is just something like a fat deposit. Hoping for the best.

  5. I am so sorry to hear you find yourself at this point we all dread. It is hard to do, but so wonderful if you can stay in the moment and concentrate on loving him in the now. Sending warmth and strength and understanding to you and much love, especially to your handsome, wonderful Rocco.

    Lisa

  6. As you know, the site is havw a lot of issues and “they” are working hard to resolve the. I saw your blog the day he system went down and wasnt able to reach out to you til now!

    I’ve read this many times over and sfill a bit unclear. So ROCCO is feeling great, showing no signs of any issues, right? Coughing can be soooo many different things and so often we find that to be the case on here! Have any mets been verified by xrays?

    For whatever it’s worth, when my Happy Hannah developed a met, she never even had a cough!

    And aboht that lump. Has thst been co firmed to be this piece of crap disease??

    After readie this is clearly seems thst Rocco is feeling just fine, with or without a lump, or cough.

    And IF it does so happen he has a met, ghere are still a lot of treatments that can be done to continue his quality time for more spoiling and loving!!

    Right now, Rocco is showing you all is well in his world and we need ro follow his lead! Do not let one second of your glorious time together be wasted on grieving while he is still right here by your side! Now is the time to stay fully presemt and continue ro make EVERYDAY ROCCO DAY!!!

    Your lpve for Rocco is clearly very strong and it is strong enough to stay in the moment with Rocco!

    Donq hesitw to call the tripawds helpline. 844 TRIPAWD if you need some extra support, okay…especially while the site is having issues!

    Lots of hugs
    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

  7. Hey I’m sorry we’re just now seeing this update. We had site connectivity issues last week so very few blogs were seen. How is he n ow? Did you get it checked out?

    Oftentimes the signs we think are metastases are actually something totally different. I’m hoping and praying that it’s the same case for Rocco. Please let us know how you are both doing, and do hop over to the Forums for fast help too OK?

    I think our connectivity issues are resolved now so don’t be a stranger. We are sending lots of love and healthy thoughts to you both.

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